The Quadrant of Relationships
The quadrants of our relationship are constantly evolving. The Owner of the Large Size Room knows me very well. He truly loves people, which fuels his interest in understanding and caring for them.
His tenderness is a profound connection that binds him to others.
As years pass, our lives continue smoothly, filled with good memories. One day, I received a call from the Owner of the Large Size Room for an interactive conversation.
I answer, “Yes, hello, how are you?”
He replies, “I’m good. Can we talk if you’re not busy?”
I always enjoy walking and talking. When he calls, I am on my routine evening walk on the rooftop of my home. It’s a perfect time, with an open and broadening state of mind to talk. I reply pleasantly, “Yes, it’s a good time to talk.”
Our conversations expand day by day, covering both general and specific topics. We discuss spirituality, the surrendering and submitting of humans towards God, and its various levels. We delve into passionate feelings, love, its intensity, types, forms, levels, dedication, and the surrendering and submitting of oneself. These discussions are wonderful, filled with thoughtful conclusions and profound feelings.
We acknowledge the power of love, its effect, and its highest levels on individuals. We talk about denying oneself for the sake of loved ones, be it spiritual or personal. It’s an interesting and interactive conversation, raising many dimensions and questions, leading to our conclusive answers based on mutual understanding and logical sharing of opinions. With an overwhelmed tone, I say, “Oh God, reaching the highest level of love is a very difficult journey. Many people get involved in love and face denial at the highest level. It’s a hard path for anyone. I don’t know how they manage such intensity, depth, contrivances, and levels. It’s tough and courageous. I don’t know how they handle it all. How do they feel? How do they look in real life? I’ve only heard about these people, never met any.”
My thoughtful question, influenced by the level of love, makes me highly curious about such people. I repeatedly raise the question, seeking a common conclusive statement. Maybe he is also in the same state.
He says, “You know?”
I ask, “What?”
He says, “I love you at that highest level.”
A deep quietness envelops me. My walk stops naturally. It is evening, the sun has completely set. The quietness inside me and around me creates a deepening communication, an unknown silence spreading everywhere.
I was asking repeated, abrupt questions seeking a conclusive opinion, never imagining that anyone would feel such deep love for me. The sun transitions from evening to night. A wandering walk and a wonderful talk with a long-time associated genius person. My repeated, abrupt questions, influenced by overwhelming thoughts and his unexpected reaction, leave me silent. A long pause ensues, and I am unable to comprehend the wandering stance. I emerge from the pause and say, “Oh no, how can it be? You are in deep love, very hard to reach there, and the object is me. Oh no, how can it be? I cannot understand it. I don’t deserve it. It’s hard in both terms to reach and receive.”
At that moment, I find myself in a multiple state of mind. I feel a seriousness inside, questioning myself but asking him. “How can it be?” Answering myself but saying to him, “No, I cannot be that person or object of love.” I ask him directly, “Why me?”
He understands my state and says, “Yes, it is true, I am in deep affection and love with you. If you listen to me, I can tell you why.”
I don’t find myself in the state of listening. While I understand his persona and believe that what he says will have acceptable grounds, I am still not ready to listen. I want to close the talk.
He says in a composed and controlled manner, “Listen, we had extraordinary communication over time. Whatever your state is in response, it is accepted. Please don’t break the communication line.”
I understand what he is saying and agree that such extraordinary communication should not be broken. I accept with all of me that I respect him deeply. Nothing was planned or designed by us. Wandering feelings follow me, not letting me go anywhere. We always had good communication, nothing was forced.
Deep affection transcends everything, and the Owner of the Large Size Room tells me he is in deep affection and love with me. My inability is still there, and I am still under the influence of many wandering and wandering feelings inside. I accept that I respect him a lot with the core of myself.
